10 Reasons Why Intelligent Men Fail With Women
That is an original Article from David DeAngelo back in the early 2000s.
I have been teaching men how to become successful with women and dating for several years now... and one"problem scenario" just keeps coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER
and OVER and OVER again...
...plus it's really amazes me.
I will refer to it as"The Genius Failure Paradox".
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency for UNUSUALLY smart men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox, discussing it, and working on it to get an awesome amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts about it with you.
I presume that in the event that you've read this much, you then see likely yourself as smarter than the average man.
You know that you are a little different than other men.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw matters differently, and thought differently than others in college...
And you have probably realized that your smart mind gives you an edge over others in many areas of life...
Your smart mind provides you a specific type of advantage that may be very, very successful in life: YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people become accustomed to being"right", since they usually ARE right.
And if you are RIGHT more frequently than other people, you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart head of yours can actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a key area of life:
WOMEN AND DATING.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It may actually be like using a hammer when you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you have for the job, you're most likely make the situation WORSE.
Naturally, it's hard for a smart guy to even IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could HURT his chances for success...
But trust me, this is one of those scenarios.
So relax, open your mind, and allow me to share with you the ten reasons why intelligent guys fail with girls... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT
I said that smart guys are used to being RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do when they come across a situation where they are mistaken?
They find a new situation... one that fits their strength. They know they will be right next time, so they just walk away... knowing it won't be long before they are straight again.
(OR they let the"problem scenario" destroy them... more on this later.)
There's no quick"I am right" around the next corner to make you feel much better.
It only takes"failing" with a few women in a row for a wise man to observe the pattern... and realize that something is not working.
Solution? Think harder.
A clever man just assumes that his logic must be good... https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=seduction so he just keeps thinking tougher.
However, when no success stems, it really begins
to become mentally hard.
Accepting that you are wrong is a VERY hard thing to get a"smart man".
Accepting that you're not only incorrect, but you have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is much more difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the next logical conclusion:
I AM A Wise GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T Work out How TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that to get a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept this a good, solid, workable response could come from somebody"dumber" than them, so that they discount any idea that comes from an"obviously less smart person" before trying it.
Allow me to ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking around Africa on foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy on this world with the greatest I.Q., or a caveman who lived just a thousand years back that had an I.Q. of roughly 50... but that grew up being chased by dinosaurs and all types of creatures that wanted to eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Today, hopefully you would like to have the guide who is not the smartest guy around... but who has escaped from many, many dangerous situations with deadly creatures...
But now allow me to ask you:
If you'd like to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, would you take advice from a guy who isn't very smart, but that knows how to attract girls?
There's something about being clever that makes some guys unwilling to take input, ideas, or instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart or smarter than them.
Well, any wise GUY is able to see the folly in this particular approach... once it's examined carefully.
If you've been making this error, then you will need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and open your eyes.
Look about.
Learn from a few"dumb" guys... and let them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It's BLOWS MY MIND how many smart men I meet that simply don't GET IT when it comes to basic social skills.
It is as if they have logically reasoned that social abilities are for lower beings who need to play games... and not worth the time it would have to learn them.
Actually, I think that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this world who do not
even have"social skills" and"be a cool guy that people love" in their"MENTAL MODEL" of what it could possibly take to become successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They are not social Info.
They're not social THEORIES.
They are social SKILLS.
And you do not get them by THINKING about them. You get them GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for good communication with other people... and if you don't have good social skills, you dramatically lower your odds for success with women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart men do something that fascinates the hell out of me...
They think of all the reasons why what WON'T WORK when it comes to dating and women.
They really figure out why what they'd like to do will probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to imagine all sorts of horrible pictures and scenes... and then they use those fanciful results to make negative emotions... which ultimately stop them from having success with women and dating.
Now, in case you've thought something through and come up with a good reason it would fail, it is reasonable not to do it, right?
I mean, why do you want to do things which will fail?
It is sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking in regards to the REAL WORLD... and success with girls.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND ladies, and they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to achieve success with women, they're working with poor characters. They're wrong before they start figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons why things will not operate in this area of your own life leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you've got it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY"INFORMATIONAL SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do if he runs into an issue... or he wants to figure something out?
He appears for INFORMATION to help him resolve the issue.
MORE INFORMATION is always the response.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a peculiar virus onto your computer? Just jump online and search for how to remove it.
Do not know how to change the alternator in your car? No prob. Just purchase the guide and turn to page 147.
Do not know the definition of a phrase? Open up your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
What exactly do smart guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with girls?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning only ONE MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magical concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where the"get more information" strategy actually made things WORSE?
How do you even know that it was making things worse?
NowI really don't need to imply that studying more about how to succeed with women is a bad thing. It's not.
But in case you've got an issue that's EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million theories on it likely is not going to help you very much.
You want to get out from the real world and try some stuff!
You need to Check at the REAL issue... that the Origin of the problem.
When it comes to dating and women, there is a very good chance that you have MORE than sufficient"data".
Smart men often use"more info" to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I have heard this referred to as"Creative Avoidance".
Nod silently in the event that you've ever figured out a creative way to avoid facing something in your life.
Great, thank you.
So what do most smart guys do when they first meet a woman?
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL interactions and conversations because that's where THEY feel comfortable... not understanding that they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing it!
When you begin a logical conversation with a woman you have just met, you are basically taking a NEON SIGN that says"I do not get it when it comes to girls" and putting it on your head.
Typical"logical" discussions include things like speaking about work, family, school, and jobs... talking politics, religion, weather... and whatever has to do with mathematics, science, or even INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you begin speaking to a woman and you say"OK, so tell me something... Why is it that all girls say that they want sweet, nice guys... but they date sexy, selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any response she gives) you are with an EMOTIONAL dialogue.
If you don't understand what I'm talking about, keep reading. You want more help than I believed.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK about things.
If you are taking a test, you could sit and work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, it is possible to work on it till you have figured out it.
If you are attempting to correct something, you can keep working on it till it is fixed.
Smart guys are utilized to being able to take at least a small bit of time to prepare and show off their"good sides" in most situations.
Not so with women...
in case you don't understand what to do in every step along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING"He doesn't make it" radar program.
Girls have all kinds of subtle and innovative tests that they throw at men to separate the"get its" in the"don't get its".
And if you do not get that, then you are likely to fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is you won't ever KNOW you were being analyzed... OR that you failed.
Smart men are not used to coping with complicated EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the moment... and particularly the"women and dating" kind.
But before you can learn to deal with the evaluations, you must first learn how to communicate on an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you've got fundamental social skills, and the best way to keep your cool at the present time.
Two ) Learn about her favorite travel destination so you could talk about it with her. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK question.
However WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you wish to appear with her favourite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you wish to discuss her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her favorite foods so subtelne oznaki zainteresowania she enjoyed herself?
Move with me here...
Smart guys believe they're being CLEVER if they do things like buying a girl her favorite flowers... and bringing them into the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their heads, they are thinking"I'm going to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and now I will show up with all the flowers that I KNOW she loves... and she is going to see them like me because of it".
Makes sense... good mathematics, right?
Well the sole teensy-weensy error that these"smart" men make is not realizing that it does not actually take a wise person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can work out how to kiss a lady's ass.
And guess what?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent man, in his proud arrogance, will think he is being such the charmer using this"thoughtful" approach...
...and the girl he is chasing will interpret it as just another Wussy who is trying to MANIPULATE her.
Ouch.
Another blow to intellect.
Have you ever met someone who would actually argue with you about something they knew nothing about... and make a fool of themselves because they simply couldn't shut their"smart mouths"?
Over the past couple of years helping guys improve their success with women, I visit that this 1 pattern over and over again...
Smart guys do not want to be"beginners" at ANYTHING.
They don't enjoy the idea of screwing up... especially if they're seeing.
They wish to maintain this"smart guy" image of themselves... so they try to always be"The Pro" at anything they do.
Rather than saying"Hey, you know what? I'm a newcomer at this... how do I do it? What should I do ? What next?" ... and instead of being totally OK with screwing up, making errors, and making a fool of themselves in front of others in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or others thinking they're novices... so that they wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It is OK to be a beginner.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Entirely stopped.
FROZEN.
And because many smart men are not comfortable dealing with things they are bad at, they just repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation compared to acknowledge they don't know how to deal with their emotions... or, GODFORBID, request help!
I know what it is like.
But the reality is that any man can learn how to handle as well as MASTER his emotions (even panic )... if he takes the time and effort to learn HOW to take action.
If that is you, then do yourself a big favor... take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anybody else thinks of you... it does not matter.
What matters is you doing the things which YOU want to do FOR YOU.
...I feel the main reason I'm so fascinated with"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I have had to fight with all these issues for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on the planet...
However, I don't think mamma raised no fool.
Plus it always bothered the hell out of me even though I had been so very good at figuring things out, I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me you know what I'm talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for a couple years... trying all kinds of crazy"logical" things... I eventually got the"bright" idea to start studying guys who were"naturally" good with women.
Obviously I found out you might be equally NOT SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN in precisely the same moment.
I also heard you are able to be wise and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the"naturals" failed with girls... and studying how they"thought" about the topic, I began to realize that success with women was not entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I heard was very tough for me to accept... because my logical mind simply didn't need to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from them... and having the girls then chase them in reaction.
Made no sense at all.
I watched men tease beautiful women and make jokes about them to their faces... then watched those women become"little girls" in reaction... unable to maintain their composure, and therefore not able to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to learn, test, and refine what I was studying until I figured out how to approach women in any situation... get any girl's number I wanted anytime I wanted... date some other type of woman I wanted...
...and most importantly, knock out that"empty" feeling that I carried around my whole life because I didn't know how to draw women.
And once I got this region of my own life together, I decided to help other guys get this region of THEIR lives collectively.
The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and energy is my free Secret Society Letters.
And I'd love to invite you to sign up.
It's completely free, there's no obligation, I'll never share your email address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime with no hassles (and no, I'll never pull any of these tricks where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to remove yourself).
And I'll speak to you soon.