Over the last few days I have felt a sense of unease. As I attempted to identify the problem I thought about many things, and after 2-3 days I have come to some answers.
Walk away from the crutches, even though its your Very Best buddy
I am lucky enough to have a good companion in San Diego. However, it's crucial to be aware of when you must walk your own path. Quite often, we lean on the shoulders of others, and in the process, neglect to learn what we ought to learn to do ourselves. For example, I'm constantly hanging out with himand we play video games. This is excellent fun, but lately after our LA trip I have felt a feeling of waste after playing matches. So I uninstalled my Heroes of the Storm bnet account and now I have far more spare time on my hands. So the lesson is, find out if you have to develop your strength, and also have the guts to walk away from the best friend. He/she will understand, that you need time to yourself to develop inner strength.
I have also discovered that my daytime pick up skills are much better, and that I have a tendency to do better on my own. Sometimes, you have to go out there and watch the world for yourself, instead of resenting others for"holding back you", when in actuality, you are the zdrady zon opowiadania one that's doing it!
Seeing the silver lining in all
As a child, I used to believe that when I'm studying the piano in the day, all the other kids are out there playing in the golden sunset! No! I felt a feeling of loss! Yet, nowadays, I am grateful on a few nights when I could just be in the office and function to my heart content. Just me and my job. Occasionally I might feel like this is lonely and it is, but that's how it's for today, and I have learned to see it as a boon, I get to hangout with my friends when I need to, and have my own time without being stressed by work or personal obligations.
Being cool without"trying"
I've leverage the capability to be present thanks to Ekhart Tolle and I have discovered that when I am relaxed and unstressed, I have an open vibe. People today talk to me personally. "What is that you're buying?" I believe that on weekdays, since many people are stressed, an unstressed, receptive energy contrasts nicely in contrast to all of the pent up energy that we see everyday. I'm fortunate enough to have financial freedom at this stage in my life, and that I shall continue to channel a chill, open vibe, even though I'm working hard at work.
Presence, and internal love When we judge other people, in some ways we're also dealing with our own demons. Live and let live. This is perhaps one of the universal truths of all religions (that has been murdered by religious dogma). Your own presence of light is sufficient -- which alone can sustain you and put in love to the world. Sometimes our ego gets in the way, and blinds us from the spark and magnificent of what's already there to start with.
Strive for the best, decision free of others I understood now this is the wrong way to look at the world. Everybody is on their own journey. In a lot of ways, my negativity towards them was actually at myself at my own inability to make things function. I must have sought out help earlier, or acknowledged that I needed to meet new people, rather than resenting my friends. You can't always change somebody, however you can always love them.
It is ok to be an asshole, sometimes our mistakes teach us how to arrive at the Ideal solution Or reach a point of approval, I needed to undergo pain. The pain makes it possible to reach a point (hopefully) of throwing away the baggage of the ego.
Intimate relationships, enjoy all the life has to offer you. Drink from the fountain
While I used to select the hottest women, I now want the deepest connections in all areas of my life. Am I drawn to beautiful ladies? Absolutely. However, my fascination today is more than only a physical one. I find myself losing charm for superficial beauty, and more in tune with internal beauty.
I'm still drawn sexually to shallow beauty, but in terms of my connections and an-ongoing type of situation, I see myself valuing a beautiful woman who has great inner qualities too.